I am so incredibly down on my luck recently.

I’d like just this once to get what it is I really want, I just want to know what that feeling is like.

Everyone keeps telling me the things you want the most require the most work, and the harder you work the better it will feel once you get it. At this point I am just so worn down from the disappointment. I work so hard and I give 150% of myself into every endeavor and yet I have seen no pay off, no real results.

My parents think I need to take a break, take a step back and reevaluate, but to me that is not even an option. If I even take a little, teeny, tiny break I will only get further behind. Taking breaks never got anyone what they wanted.

I am so heartbroken about not being able to move to New York in August, my heart and my head are so heavy and confused.

I don’t know what to do anymore.